These days, most parents have the opportunity to spend a little time together as a family before they need to return to work. It’s great having the extra support there to get you through that initial challenging period of adjustment. However, it feels like just as you start to get into a routine, your partner now needs to return to work and that can be a truly terrifying prospect.
Now, for the first time, you’re going to be left alone with baby. Don’t panic! It may not feel like it right now, but you’ve got this covered! You and your little one are going to be just fine, but for peace of mind, here you’ll discover some of the best tips and advice to help you through this daunting change.
Don’t Feel Pressured Into Leaving The House
OK, so you are going to need to leave the house at some point. However, the first month of baby’s life is pretty tough. It can be difficult finding time to do anything when you’re constantly in a seemingly never-ending feeding, burping, changing, sleeping, and cuddling schedule!
The thought of needing to venture out alone when your partner returns to work can be extremely daunting. That’s why it’s recommended you stay indoors during that first month. After all, this is more of time to bond with baby. If you need groceries, order online or ask your partner to pick things up on their way back from work. You may feel guilty, but don’t forget you’re working hard too. Raising a baby, especially in the early infancy period, is exceptionally difficult.
So, don’t rush to get out. If you need to get out of the house (and let’s face it, it can start to feel like you’re going insane cooped up at home), start off small and take baby for a short walk in their stroller. You may find yourself doing this frequently anyway as a walk with the stroller can often settle a fussy baby and help them to drift off to sleep.
Enlist The Help Of Friends And Family
Many parents try to limit visitors during the first few weeks after bringing baby home. So, when your partner returns to work, now’s a great time to start inviting friends and family over. Now, you don’t want to invite everyone around at the same time! However, inviting one visitor a day, or even just a few days out of the week, can be a massive help.
You can use their visit as a chance to grab a shower, or simply as a way to relax. One of the main challenges new parents face after having a baby, is the lack of adult interaction. As much as you love your little one, adult conversations are required in order to keep your sanity!
So, don’t be afraid to invite your friends and family over to help out or just catch up. This will really help to ease the loneliness you might feel once your partner does return to work.
Switch On The TV
Even those who never really watched daytime TV prior to have a baby, tend to start leaving it on all day. This is because it helps to provide background noise – something that’s really appreciated when there’s just you and baby at home.
The background noise from the TV can also help to keep baby happy. Contrary to popular belief, babies don’t like their environment to be too quiet. They’re used to a lot of noise (you’d be surprised how loud your uterus is!). So, a little background noise can even help settle them to sleep.
Express Milk During The Day
Although you’ll want to spend as much time with your partner as possible, it might be a good idea to let them take over in the evenings. That way, you can have a nap to prepare yourself for the night shift.
Expressing milk during the day for your partner to feed to baby in the evening is a great idea. This also gets baby used to being fed by someone else, which can save a lot of stress further down the line if you need to be away from your little one for any reason.
Of course, this is also great for your partner too. They will be able to spend some time alone with baby which they’ll really appreciate.
Take Advantage Of Online Forums
What if you don’t have friends or family nearby who can help? Well, the great thing about living in this digital age, is that you never have to be completely alone. We have our very own forum that you can use to connect with other parents.
We’d love to have you as part of our community, so please feel free to check it out by clicking here!
It may not be physical company, but even just being able to chat online and get advice from others in a similar position can make a world of difference.
Set Yourself Small Daily Goals
The reality is, you’re unlikely going to have time to look after baby, clean the house, be a fantastic partner and keep up with your social calendar. This can lead to feelings of guilt. However, remind yourself that it’s perfectly OK to just focus on your baby right now. Other things can wait. Setting small goals is a much easier and healthier way to handle those first few weeks by yourself.
It could be something as simple as “do one load of washing”. Ticking it off once it’s done will be an amazing feeling. If you have time, you can always set yourself another little goal for the day too. Often separating tasks into smaller goals can be really motivating and helps you to feel much less overwhelmed.
Overall, it can be scary when your partner returns to work. However, support, whether it be from friends, family or even strangers online, can really make the world of difference. Remember to take it one day at a time too. Some parents even advise taking it hour by hour. Do whatever works for you.
Did you struggle when your partner returned to work? How did you handle it? Share your experience and tips below!
I always say that when I get married, that I will try as much as I can to ensure that my wife does not feel lonely each time I am off to work. This is just the evidence on how I can achieve that goal. Honestly, the first few months of the baby arrival can be tough, but I;m glad to have read this article on ways we can ease those stress.
Understanding men like you are hard to come by. Your future wife would truly be blessed to have you. Not many men want to understand what women go through, nor even care. It would be a welcome relief to have a partner actually understand what we go through and help ease the stress of raising a baby.
I learnt so much from my dad while growing up. He always take care of my mom and even went as far as helping out with meal preparation. That’s how I made up my mind to make my future wife enjoy the benefits of marrying a loving husband as well.
As a mother of 3 with number 4 on the way, the ability to express milk so my husband could feed at night was a lifesaver. This time I have the luxury of my husband taking a mix of parental leave, holidays and some of his long service leave to make the first 2 months easier.
It’s wonderful to hear that your husband is so much willing to help ease your burden of raising your kids. You’re one of the lucky ones 🙂 Even if it’s just for two months, that would greatly help you adjust and plan ahead for the day when he returns to work and you’ll be on your own again.
This situation, if neglected could make anyone feel lonely and depressed after a while, so this list you have here is truly helpful for some who will soon be facing this kind of predicament. There are actually a lot of productive things to do at the house even if it’s only you and the baby and you only have to be creative and open-minded. Families and friends are good options to call and hang out in the house too , and I know many of them would be willing to lend a hand when you call them.
That is true, SirenOnFire, there are a lot of creative things we can do around the house to ease boredom or the stress of being a mom with a new baby. But as you also said, it can become lonely and depressing at times so taking some time off for yourself, away from it all, will help you keep your sanity. Stress and depression, if not addressed, can also lead to health problems which is the last thing we need.
Alone time with your baby is a great time for bonding. Those special moments between mom and baby is their connection gets stronger. Then there’s a lot of attachment that comes with it which is also good. A baby would often feel much safer and calming with mom, and you just take it all in.
Moms usually get to spend a lot of memorable moments with their babies. A lot of them, memorable firsts, so it is no wonder most kids tend to be clingy with their moms as compared to their dads. But when it’s the dad who also took charge of his baby’s care, expect the baby to be clingy with the dad.
It should be remembered, however, that bonding moments with both mom and dad are essential to a baby’s development so time should be set aside for it.
as a mother of two, 3 on the way, it’s really nice when your husband is there to help you out with little things, specially taking care of the two kids. Having twins was a surprise for us, but 3rd is on the way <3
im both happy and excited. my mom also helps with taking care of them when my husband is at work <3 which is really nice <3
I can’t imagine how you manage raising twins, that must be a handful. And yes, you’re so right about how convenient it is to have your husband help around the house and with your kids.
And to have your mom help you is also a very big plus. Not many get to have that luxury that is why couples should be very thankful to have a parent help out. That is priceless. What’s more, you are assured that the person taking care of your kids loves them as much as you do.
I really do appreciate that there are more companies who are understanding of new additions to families. A lot of companies have extended maternal and paternal leave, equal maternal and paternal leave, maternal and paternal leave for adopted kids, have a 6+ plus month, discounted care, etc. Actually, Amazon allows people a year-long leave. There are a lot of work from home options too.
So true! Some countries have amended workforce rules/laws to provide longer maternity and paternity leaves, plus other leave benefits. We have to be grateful for those who pass such amendments. There also companies that have very accommodating employee policies, so nice.
And yes, work from home jobs are really wonderful developments. Thank you for the technology we have now that made this work option possible.
Post partum depression depends to anyone. It’s important that you have a positive outlook in life. Trying something new, thinking of ideas that maybe interesting for your baby. Doing scrapbook is a good idea, aside from being creative its gives you a happy thoughts. Talking to friends and family more often it helpul as well. But most of all you have to enjoy and passionate being a mother. Everyday is a new beginning so make sure you won’t miss anything for the entire day.
Yes, a positive outlook in life greatly helps women avoid postpartum depression, however, being cooped up at home for a long time can become overwhelming and depressing. It would truly be good to socialize and have someone to talk to on a regular basis, like friends or family, even moms who are very well aware of what moms go through.
I work from home and my wife has a teaching job at a college in morning shift (she will be back home at 11 in the morning). Since I work from home I did not take a break when the baby was born. I continued working whenever I could. However, my wife took a pregnancy leave for three months, After three months, when she was ready to go to work, we made an arrangement. When she went to work in the morning, I look after the baby and when she was back, she will .look after the baby and I continue working. This arrangement has worked wonderfully for us.
I have dated guys who when they come back from their jobs will start yelling and cursing at me, because we were staying together because we wanted to see how compatible we are for each other, I had to say this because some men really should learn not freak women out when they come back from work especially when you guys have a kid. Making your partner feel lonely especially to us we women cane be very disturbing.
So when I was with them all I did was run away for some time, and this help a lot before they will start picking offenses because they felt a speck of dust with their feets.