When you are raising confident kids you’re not only contributing to balanced individuals but to the balance of society as a whole, since our society is born from the family nucleus.
A confident child is bound to be more of a successful person that will not only live a happier and more meaningful life, but better able to contribute to society in a positive manner.
On the contrary, an individual with low self-esteem is more prone to develop negative patterns going from low resilience, relationship troubles to even mental and/or physical abuse towards others. Thus the importance of raising confident children.
In this article we’ll discuss 5 steps to help you raise more confident kids, so they’ll have everything on their side to become more successful adults.
Table of Contents
1. Start With Being A Confident Parent
Always keep in mind that children learn and retain more from what they see their parents do, rather they what their parents tell them.
Lip service has little to no effect on children. If they sense or observe that you are not confident yourself, chances are that it will be very difficult for you to teach them confidence. Do as I say, not as I do, doesn’t work with kids.
If you feel that you lack confidence yourself, start searching for ways to improve in this area. You could start reading self-help material, and work on your personal development through mental and even physical exercises known to improve confidence. Some parents have even considered consulting a life coach to help them in this area.
Ideally, it’s best to work on yourself before you become a parent, however, it’s never too late to work on your self-improvement to be able to raise more confident and balanced kids if you know that you are lacking in this area.
2. Make Your Kids Work
Making your kids do small tasks around the house can go a long way.
Some parents complain that their kids are not helping out around the house. They complain that they never clean their room, do the dishes or help to set the table. But such problems rarely come from the child. The responsibility to teach small house scores falls on the parents.
You can’t expect your kid to develop a taste for house chores if you haven’t taught them to do this from the time there were 3 years old.
Anything you want to teach your child starts very early.
If you teach your kids very early on to help around the house as a fun little game to play, not only will they do it with enthusiasm, but it will become very natural to them. That excellent habit will be ingrained in them forever.
By participating in small house chores at very young age, kids build confidence as they realize that they can accomplish adult tasks.
Making your kids do little work around the house not only boosts their confidence but also teach them the positive effects of a job well done.
3. Give Your Kids Responsibilities
As they’re getting older, give them tasks that they will be responsible for.
For example, if they want a pet, make sure they understand that they will have the responsibility to feed the pet when they are home. Create a schedule your kids will have to stick to, no matter what.
For example, each day after school it will be their responsibility to feed their pet. Make it clear to them that if they don’t do it, the pet won’t be fed, and explain to them the consequences that could result from that.
Teaching your kids to be responsible will give them a huge boost of self-confidence because it will teach them that they are valuable, and contributing to the world.
The more responsibilities they are used to handle the more confident your kids will become and that confidence will stick around until adulthood.
4. Stop Yelling
Yelling at your kids is probably one of the most destructive things you can do to your children, second only to hitting and abuse.
Some parents proudly say I don’t hit my kids, I just yell at them. But what they don’t understand is that yelling is almost as destructive as hitting because it’s still a form of aggression.
Would you yell at your co-workers? Would you yell at your employees? Would you yell at your massage therapist?
The point is that even today we still think that it’s OK to do to our own kids some things we would never do to anyone else.
A child that’s been yelled at a lot will put some internal ear plugs, so to speak, and most likely develop into a yeller himself as an adult. But most importantly, if you yell at your kids they will sense your own lack of confidence.
Confident people don’t yell.
You can’t raise a confident child by yelling at him.
The parent-children relationship is a relationship like any other relationships. At times, you are going to disagree, but you need to find a way to handle those disagreements in a calm, intelligent way.
Calm slow speech is ten times more powerful than yelling, and way more up-building.
5. Encourage Your Kids’ Creativity
A good way to encourage your kids’ creativity is by accepting their ideas.
For example, if a toddler who is setting the table decides to be a little creative in doing so, there is no immediate need to correct him. Instead, praise your child for his creative way of setting the table.
If they pour the flour jar on the kitchen floor, refrain from yelling and getting frantic about it. Instead, let them express themselves and hide the flour jar better next time. But as for now, the mess has been done anyway, so use it to teach your child that genuine mistakes are allowed.
Allowing your kids to make mistakes and be creative in their own ways will be a tremendous boost for their confidence.
By being a calm confident parent who understands the value of giving your children responsibilities and little work to do around the house from a very young age, while giving them some space and freedom to develop their creativity by making mistakes, you are going to raise strong confident kids.
The list doesn’t end here, and we’d love to hear your ideas on raising confident kids. Share your thoughts below using the comment form, because we could all benefit from hearing what you have to say!